bringing it home

It's like we're all distracted and keeping ourselves distracted every moment of the day. Even the lockdown which should bring people home, literally and home to themselves, takes them out again. We go out to exercise, read the news, we eat, make art, study the news again, eat again and talk and talk. But we ignore the nagging topic which lies at the heart of this virus. There isn't time for all of this. People are at their limit, we don't want to say it but everyone is thinking of it. We are all afraid to die. To lose our loved ones. Some say it is like a war against an unseen enemy. It is wartime and we are confronted with this essential fear. This virus is fast, once someone goes into hospital there's no time to even say good-bye. Connections are broken, relationships torn apart from one moment to the next. We look at the news without realizing that it's coming closer. China is far off, even Italy is a world away. But it's arriving, fast. First, you hear about friends of friends getting the virus, then your own friends and then it comes home. My father found out he had the virus and fear flooded me, fear of losing him, fear of not being able to say all the things I needed to say before he goes. I was shaken solely by the possibility of loss, even if statistically it isn't a death sentence in itself to contract the virus. This is all a process in breathing, a desire to breathe, to be allowed to have just one more year together, one more day, one more celebration of life. So to hell with distractions, consider the question and come to terms with it. It might help you live these moments more fully.